we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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