well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I believe in your delicious
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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