i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
