how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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