Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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