Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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