she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
