You work out of a Hotel?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
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I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
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The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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