Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
look no pants
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
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I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
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Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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