Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The air was thick with penises
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life