Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
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I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
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just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real