i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Randomize
