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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.

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• (631): View more from New York

  Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.

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• (845): View more from New York

  Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"

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• (707): View more from California

  And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (971): View more from Oregon

  I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed

  (425): View more from Washington

  Yeah, that sounds like my life.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.

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• (845): View more from New York

  You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?

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• (276): View more from Virginia

  I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.

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