Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
the liver wants what the liver wants
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS