can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats