whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.