Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
not ubering you a puppy
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.