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• (817): View more from Texas

  Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.

  (817): View more from Texas

  I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?

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• (660): View more from Missouri

  I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.

  (417): View more from Missouri

  It's called being normal.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.

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• (323): View more from California

  Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?

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• (425): View more from Washington

  While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real

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