I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
