I can tuck mytits in my pants
Duck Duck Cougar?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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