I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
