Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
