so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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