yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
