i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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