Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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