so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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