Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
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Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
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Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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