She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
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Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
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I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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