I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm too high and old for this...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
