this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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