What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
