How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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