I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
