If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
