I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
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its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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