Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize