i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
