I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
