I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
