they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
