did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
