i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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