Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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