Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Randomize
