Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
