We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
