please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
