Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You made out with two different species that night
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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