i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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