My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
