forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i think my mom watched the whole time
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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