i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I need moral support for this bender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize