It's Friday. Sex?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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