Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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