White coat. Heels.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
