I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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