This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
