Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Randomize
