Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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