Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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